Who sees the light? Who bears the cross?

Things that make me angry….
It makes me angry that when I contemplate taking an overnight trip with a friend… a female friend… who has been my friend for 20+ years….
I know that, because of the world, as it is today, I have to wonder what people will think, what whispers and wonderings will there be….
and because I haven’t had ‘a man’ in my life, in an intimate way, for these last 20 years, that makes it all the worse….

oh, there have been men to come and go…
to show interest…
men with wives…
men interested in leaving their wives…
as long as they could line up a replacement first… (that was where I came in… me, single, kids, a prime target… you know, someone needing a husband and a father figure… someone who would ‘appreciate the man’ who was so unappreciated)

I do not play that game…
that is how my own family was broken
how my own father was lost…
to a woman with no scruples other than to get what she wanted for herself, irregardless of the effect on the family that came before…
I cared about the families that came before…
the women that came before…
I care about the women, other women,
We should care about one another… not steal from one another…
and the children that came before…
I care about the children,
We should care about the children.

AND, I have known love…
and I did not want anything less than the love that I had known…
would not settle for doing anything less than God’s way and someone who really invested in loving me…
it serves to pique no interest in me, just to be a convenience to someone…
for someone to be a convenience for me…
but now that makes me a target for whispers and speculations…
because of the world, as it is today…

no one understands anymore, a dedication to doing things;
God’s way…
which is my way…
His way, is my way…
the way I chose.
bearing the cross
God gave me a cross… this cross…
We all have our crosses, should we choose to bear them.
I chose to bear mine.
Where once that would have been a light to the world….
Ah well……………………………..
I wish to be a light,
and not add to the darkness…
but who is seeing the light?
Who sees the light?
bearing the cross 2
Who, today, bears the cross?

If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. (Luke)

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4 thoughts on “Who sees the light? Who bears the cross?

  1. Wow! You speak truth for sure! I’m sorry that you have had so many difficult things in your life. You have and are choosing God’s way, and so you shall be blessed for that. You are being a light-bearer for God!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry for all the struggle and pain you have had in your life, SweetLynn. 😦 But, you are a survivor. God knows your heart. And that is all that matters.
    Don’t let what others do, don’t do, or think sway you from being you and living your life.
    (((HUGS)))

    Like

  3. Thanks for everybody’s warm thoughts. I hadn’t realized that this came across as writing about pain. It was meant more as an expression of frustration with the world how it is. That the world has so given in to inappropriate desires, that they think all the world has them. Nothing is considered sacred, nothing is considered pure anymore. Michel, I think, seems to have gotten the gyst of what I was saying. Not so much about me, but about the world. I am at peace in following God. I just wish others understood what that means… what it is like.
    As Yshwe said… ‘ My yoke is easy, my burden is light’ … the cross is not a burden, for Yshwe is right there with me. He carried a heavier cross than I ever hope to face.

    Like

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